I sat down in front of my laptop yesterday morning and somehow for the first time in months my brain felt clear.
I've been super burnt out. That's pretty challenging when every part of your life is reliant on you being a functional, productive person and there are no real avenues to take a break just yet. Considering this, I think we've been doing OK - been doing my best to put one foot in front of the other, but the constantly hum of stress in the brain really does a number on you and I've really found it hard to break the cycle.
But I've been fortunate to have the opportunity to head to WA to be with my kids in their current hometown over there for the last two weeks. It wasn't a "break" by any stretch of the imagination, but perhaps let's call it a circuit breaker: somehow I think the change in scene helped me to get to the point where I'm feeling a bit less run down and stuck.
Time with the kids was wonderful... we got to do Normal Life and Normal Life was really good: school dropoffs, making the Nats What I Reckon bolognese (honestly, it rips - I just wish I'd done a better job of figuring out how to render the pancetta, it's key), making this chorizo, kale and barley soup which was phenomenal for leftovers, talking about life, their school performance finale of Fiddler On The Roof (and the afterparty, bless), sourdough pizza night (feeding El's starter - stress), meeting my kids' employers - insane, Rae selecting a banging playlist on the way back from Cowaramup, PowerPoint Night, our Last Waffles tradition.
While there I met Aaron from Portal Coffee. His store was playing Twerps when I arrived - we had plenty to chat about... shout-out to the Buzz Kull feature hour, shout-out to recommending The Cleaners From Venus... good chats. Good coffee. I made him a playlist that started with a discussion about Sydney egg punk (and evolved to other random Sydney stuff).
I'm back in Sydney as of last Saturday. Grateful to my clients that made it possible for me to spend time with the kids.
Hoping I can maintain the clear-mindedness as much as possible from here on in, with a consistent, rational and well-structured-but-sustainable approach to keeping things moving.
Fucking psyched for so much coming up. Just gotta find the breakthroughs.